An introspection

In the third week of March, I spent a surpassing overnight in the coffee capital city in the Philippines with my last groupmates in Adamson, the gravezia. At midnight, countless stars were tattooed on the sky and the frigid summer air made the hair of our skins stood straight. Cigarette smokes in the air looked like white heavy mist that reduces visibility, while keeping love songs and party sounds in the background because of the so-called prom in the barangay court was located a few steps away from the pad.

And the mind-blowing night began, two glasses were passed to each one of us. At first, Josh's cracking put-ons and the clique's bullheaded notions about stuff and people inside the institution ruled the roost of the group conversation. Then, then the group chat shifted to an outrageous topic, like sex. My two sexually active buddies sliced up almost every thing they know and even gave tips on how to have more pleasurable moment while doing it as a bonus. My inner self commanded me just to listen and understand the things that coming out from their mouths. Honestly, I'll deserve an award for the best hypocrite woman in the world, if I say I didn't like the topic and I didn't learn something from them.

The strange thing? Sunlight entered the scene, however, my mind was restrained and my body haven't liquored up despite of the fact that four kinds of firewater liquid flowed into my system. It was out of the ordinary, because I usually end up being dead after four bottles of beer.

Early in the morning, we went to the coffee farm. That was one of the eminent walks I had so far because I appreciated the sunlight as it touched my skin. Then we went home and I've slept for almost two hours. My mind still wanted to conk out, however my eyes were vigorous. So instead of stretching out my back, I chose to sit around on the balcony and observed the clouds. My eyes were animated on how the fogs moved on cornerways. Then, the two lads sat around me and began to open their mouths.

We looked back on what we learned a couple of years ago in Communication Theory. I harked back my favorite theories, and they did the same thing. Then, the discussion move over on feminism and genders, where I heard barbed thoughts about it. Then again it was switched on the Philippines economic status, US presidents, Philippines' election history and the round-the-clock Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's accomplishments and manipulations. The conversation ended by the books and literatures we've read.

From the moment I went home, I was still thinking about the intellectual discussion we had because I really learned a lot and I hope he learned from me, too. The discussion was meant not to be forgotten, and up to now the things we discussed still pouring out into my head. And as my mind speculated the idea of different intellectual discussions I had with bookish and brainy creatures, I understand that maybe this is one of the reasons why sometimes socializing with my perennial buddies gets cramped.

I am not saying they're intellectually absurd because they're not, but maybe my mind wants to overburden with gossips and deadly physical discriminating attacks from people(even with passer-by sometimes!). And this introspection, helped me out in understanding things socially. However, I always miss them, but clearing out my mind with this thoughts exceptionally defines maturity.

Today's inconceivable fact:

A cold-blooded person

will never be cognizant of striving happiness even if his eternal rest is close-at-hand.

Equality Check

Women and even men should open their eyes to the fact that equality is not just whirling around political, democratic governance, benefits, health and education. Those small things that we sometimes believe superficial also fall under the criteria of equality. Every woman craves for equality, who erratic woman likes to be shaped by the opposite sex? However, most of the women equated to their minds that equality is translucently all about the above mentioned and it ends there. Women couldn't catch the drift that simple things in their everyday lives like beliefs, clothing, manerism, socializing and even hygiene are parts of that equality that all women are yearning for. Like for example, women drink hard as much as the men around them, talk as dirty and boast about their control of their lives. And other women (especially those subjective heartless bitches) can easily react that goes like this

"Ano ba yan kababaeng tao?! Kung makipag-inuman o makipag-usap sa lalake, di na nahiya..".

Those other women don't understand is that they are not enjoying the liberation that the 1970's feminists imagined, but a kind of social equality. And how many times do you have to get wind of statements from your grand parents or parents that goes like this,

"Iba na talaga mga babae ngayon, dati rati ganto ganyan.. ngayon masahol pa sa mga lalake kung gumanto gumanyan!".

If men can behave badly, women can too! We hate the "bulok na sistema" thing and we are all seeking for change without paying attention to our actions, words and beliefs in our surroundings. Educated women who has background about feminism believes that the social outdated structure is the cause why both sexes remain in the position that is totally discriminating and unequal, however, some of them could easily throw judgements to their co-women if that enjoys the stereotypical man things.

Women should bear in mind, even if they are educated or not that equality is already existing here. Yes, in fact, Philippines is one of the countries in Asia where women are given equal opportunity along with men. Just take a look of the person who runs our country for 9 years, she's female right? However, we, women sometimes are having a hard time to break free from that social outdated structure that imposed to us in the early years of our country's existence. We seek change in everything unequal to both sexes but we enjoy dust so much. Women needs realization with their beliefs and should not perpetuate a culture that tells them to be different in all access with the opposite sex.

A story telling . . .

March 5, 2010

It was turning 5 am on my cellphone's clock, and direk Reg had his last company call to our group for few reminders. I was petrified when I saw the time because I was expecting that the rehearsal will end till the sun rise. My eyes were not fed up and my body haven't exasperated, plus I didn't feel coming home that early and so I rushed to Rica and asked her to bond with a bucket of beers. And so she liked the idea, too. So at 5:30 in the morning, we left Burgundy Tower in Makati and checked out the spot she told me that could satisfy our thirstness. The bar was few steps away from the building. But unfortunately, it was close already. However, our salivas shouted for beers! And so we walked along Ayala to look for open bars at those hours. We walked for like 45 mins with no sense of direction. Some streets were empty and we were the only girls walking with cigs. Our feets pooped out so when a cab passed by we grabbed the opportunity to loosen up our feets. We asked the driver to help us look for "hello sunshine" bars but then it was another failure so we asked him to take us back to Export Bank building. We were about to go home when Rica spotted that the bar she was talking about earlier were open already. So we rushed and ordered drinks as quickly as we can.

So the dream came true and our mouths were satisfied. We talked everything that interests us. I remembered when we talked about absurdism, nihilism and marxism, then the conversation shifted to personal matters like family backgrounds and little gossips about our schoolmates. At around 8 am we decided to go home cos we could feel the anger of the sun on the outside. The moment we left the bar, seriously, I could feel a mixture of giddiness and drowsiness. Rica walked towards the other lane and I stayed. In a few minutes, I was thinking of riding a cab but then in just a second I convinced myself that riding a bus could be a practical thing since it's a working hour already. So I entered the bus and occupied the last seat at the back. Drowsiness was killing me, so after paying for the ride my eyes shutted like a bat out of hell.

The next thing I know, The bus was passing the Guadalupe bridge heading at Boni Avenue. So when the bus reached Robinson's Pioneer, I left the bus like crazy. While walking down the street, I was about to check my cellphone to read text messages. However, I was completely terrified with my open-zippered bag and the phone and wallet was gone. I slapped my face, thinking I was just dreaming, but I was not. My mind was astonished and completely empty. The mall was still closed and my senses were muddled by the noise of vehicles and rushing creatures. My eyes were stirred up and completely mystified. I didn't really know how to throw actions as empty-handed being at that moment without any centavo left. Good thing, a big-hearted janitor at Rob Pioneer together with the security guard assigned on the entrance door of the mall helped me out to reach out my parents. I seated outside the mall for like an hour to wait for my dad to pick me up. While waiting, unlimited tears drooped down like hell. Why I was crying? Not of the valuable things and pennies, but because of the earlier actions I made and astonishment.

IT WAS MY FAULT.

because I'm stupid. HAHA! :)

However, i love the experience so it needs to be posted. :P

Pornography = Feminism?

Contrary to popular notion, pornography benefits the stand point of feminism through breaking the cultural and social stereotypes that all feminists are all fighting for. Pornography is a free speech and I always believe in the Pro-Sex and Liberal feminists principle that "a woman's body, a woman's right". I always believe that women who does or supports pornography never uncoerced to do or support the thing, hence, they are just practicing their freedom to do what they like and what they want to fulfill. Supporting pornography is no different from supporting lesbianism. Women has the power to choose what they want to be without the intimidation of the opposite sex and even their sexuality. Again, it's freedom and choice which all women are shouting for. So how come anti-pornography movement or even hypocrite creatures keep bitching about pornography? And another, pornography is a creative expression that helps women to practice her rights about her body and identity. Practicing rights is just the same with seeking change. That is the reason why I find feminism and pornography quite the same. Pornography helps a lot especially in relationships or couples to enrich their sexual relationships without committing adultery. Plus, let's not be hypocrite, every woman is experiencing sexual urges, and believe it or not there will be time in a woman's life that she will need pornographic materials just to trim down the level of her curiosity or simply to fulfill her sexual desire and sexual desire is a natural thing.

The world is drastic that people are being boxed and never wish to come out of the shell. However, it's a choice to be corrigible to the fact that you and those creatures around you aren't the only people in the world that follows what the society and the culture have been perpetuated.