Honestly, I really don't know how to start this one. So instead of starting with this new post all I did was to read my ancient posts up to the previous ones. I really miss posting here because I was busy with the OJT stuffs this passed few weeks. And I have to admit that taking this summer practicum is a great culture shock. I slightly having a difficult time dealing and learning works in my chosen field. At present, I am still observing the culture, work and even the lifestyle of new faces I have to interact with every day. Staring at them and being amaze with what they have and how they built their names is truly fascinating. And I believe that with extreme patience and perseverance together with the application of knowledge I've learned in school, I could follow their footsteps. Yes, I am a postive thinker when it comes to reaching my dreams and goals in life. I enjoys a lot of what I am doing because it feels like my feet was already step flat into the real world. Plus, I know that I am starting to create another chapter of my life in this summer practicum. A history of learning, unusual experience and fun of an amateur practitioner into the real world.
Fun? Fun! Fun.
I think I need that in other roles I play in life. Maybe some people are right, I am taking my life too seriously. Well I don't have problems with that because I stick to the fact that being serious is not bad. As for me, seriousness is a product of knowledge that our brain's keep holding. However, I have to admit the fact that being serious sometimes lead to missing some pictures of life. You see, I am still young. I am only eighteen, though I am already in what they called "legal age" when it comes to experience and real world, I am still very young. That is the reality but people foresee me as someone in the age of 30's when my mouth starts to talk about life and philosophy. How many posts did you read right here in my blog that high lights my bitterness in a certain issue or even to someone simply because I can't grasp the fact that we are living in this drastic world where people tend to patronize the world's biggest lie?
See? That is what I am talking about. Sometimes it is better to ignore every thing. I remember a couple of weeks ago I've watched Juday's film PLONING. And I have to admit that it is the simply the best! From the screenplay to cinematography. Watching it is like bringing me to the 70's provincial era of the Philippines. And for me, this film deserves to be awarded not just here in the Philippines but also across Asia. Numerous lines delivered by the main characters of the story truly tatooed on my mind. The best one is delivered by Meryl Soriano who played as someone who is very simple and weak in the eyes of many people in their barrio. One night they we're talking about their traits and it's benefit.
Meryl said,
"Siguro kung naging matalino ako, hindi ako ganito kababaw.. at hindi rin ako ganito KASAYA".
It truly made a great impact to me. So true! Sometimes being not so smart to every thing gives us a normal life. I am not regretting the fact that I strive hard to reach this line of thinking I have at this moment. What I am saying is that somehow the line in the story has point. Maybe the reason why I am feeling the loneliness when vacation just started because I am too aware of every thing. I know what's right and what's not. So I tend to stay away from every thing wrong.
Loneliness is a subjective state in which people do not experience the level of connection with others that they desire. I am not experiencing that kind of loneliness, I think. I don't need belongingness of others because having my friends and knowing that there are tons of people cares about me is enough for me to be happy. I don't need to feel accepted by the opposite sex because I know to myself that I am already accepted by them of who I am. But then I am feeling lonely because I am trying to be perfect. Yes, embarassing but I have to admit. But it doesn't mean I am trying to be someone I am not. OF COURSE NOT! I am trying to be perfect in a way that I lessen wrong moves in life. Commiting mistake is fatal for me! I am afraid to do wrong things and its consequence. That makes me lonely.
And this passed few weeks I've got a chance to know someone who is sixteen years older than me. We easily penetrated each other because we are both communication majors and somehow we share same thoughts when it comes to our chosen field. Though we don't have the same lifes style and even culture because we came from different species, conversing to each other isn't hard for us. He shared things about himself and I also did the same things too. I look at him as a mentor because I also want to reach what he has at present. He told me not to be afraid of committing mistakes and he even added that it is okay to have fun sometimes.
And maybe he's right, I think. It's really good to have fun sometimes. Yea just sometimes but not all the time!Because that would be abusive!
You know I miss the feeling of doing wrong but feels alright. The feeling of doing something erroneous just to fulfill other desire that I think evey human's alive necessity. Maybe I am welcoming erroneous act at present but it's the only way to fullfill my human needs and enjoy life. Life is short. We never know what will happen today, tomorrow or the next day.
Essentially, I'm glad I still know what I am venturing and I know this is just temporary. And I am so ready for what will happen next.
Good or bad? Well I just don't care and I will not blame destiny because I don't believe in that. Like what I've said in my recent posts everything is a matter of choice. So whatever wrong things I am venturing right now, it is my choice and if it will be another crest fallen moment in my life well this time I won't blame anyone but myself. :)
I am being thrill seeker right now but what can I do, this helps me enjoy life and escape the loneliness of the bitter reality.
And whatever it takes, I know God is still beside me. Still guiding me and aware of what I am doing at the right moment.
You maybe not understand what I am talking about because I chose to write it this way.
But if you have the gift of extreme deepness and understanding, it will not be difficult for you to figure this out.
At this moment, only three person will understand what I am venturing right now.
It is myself, him and God. :)
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. And God knows that I am still waiting while He is preparing something perfect! :)
Fun? Fun! Fun.
I think I need that in other roles I play in life. Maybe some people are right, I am taking my life too seriously. Well I don't have problems with that because I stick to the fact that being serious is not bad. As for me, seriousness is a product of knowledge that our brain's keep holding. However, I have to admit the fact that being serious sometimes lead to missing some pictures of life. You see, I am still young. I am only eighteen, though I am already in what they called "legal age" when it comes to experience and real world, I am still very young. That is the reality but people foresee me as someone in the age of 30's when my mouth starts to talk about life and philosophy. How many posts did you read right here in my blog that high lights my bitterness in a certain issue or even to someone simply because I can't grasp the fact that we are living in this drastic world where people tend to patronize the world's biggest lie?
See? That is what I am talking about. Sometimes it is better to ignore every thing. I remember a couple of weeks ago I've watched Juday's film PLONING. And I have to admit that it is the simply the best! From the screenplay to cinematography. Watching it is like bringing me to the 70's provincial era of the Philippines. And for me, this film deserves to be awarded not just here in the Philippines but also across Asia. Numerous lines delivered by the main characters of the story truly tatooed on my mind. The best one is delivered by Meryl Soriano who played as someone who is very simple and weak in the eyes of many people in their barrio. One night they we're talking about their traits and it's benefit.
Meryl said,
"Siguro kung naging matalino ako, hindi ako ganito kababaw.. at hindi rin ako ganito KASAYA".
It truly made a great impact to me. So true! Sometimes being not so smart to every thing gives us a normal life. I am not regretting the fact that I strive hard to reach this line of thinking I have at this moment. What I am saying is that somehow the line in the story has point. Maybe the reason why I am feeling the loneliness when vacation just started because I am too aware of every thing. I know what's right and what's not. So I tend to stay away from every thing wrong.
Loneliness is a subjective state in which people do not experience the level of connection with others that they desire. I am not experiencing that kind of loneliness, I think. I don't need belongingness of others because having my friends and knowing that there are tons of people cares about me is enough for me to be happy. I don't need to feel accepted by the opposite sex because I know to myself that I am already accepted by them of who I am. But then I am feeling lonely because I am trying to be perfect. Yes, embarassing but I have to admit. But it doesn't mean I am trying to be someone I am not. OF COURSE NOT! I am trying to be perfect in a way that I lessen wrong moves in life. Commiting mistake is fatal for me! I am afraid to do wrong things and its consequence. That makes me lonely.
And this passed few weeks I've got a chance to know someone who is sixteen years older than me. We easily penetrated each other because we are both communication majors and somehow we share same thoughts when it comes to our chosen field. Though we don't have the same lifes style and even culture because we came from different species, conversing to each other isn't hard for us. He shared things about himself and I also did the same things too. I look at him as a mentor because I also want to reach what he has at present. He told me not to be afraid of committing mistakes and he even added that it is okay to have fun sometimes.
And maybe he's right, I think. It's really good to have fun sometimes. Yea just sometimes but not all the time!Because that would be abusive!
You know I miss the feeling of doing wrong but feels alright. The feeling of doing something erroneous just to fulfill other desire that I think evey human's alive necessity. Maybe I am welcoming erroneous act at present but it's the only way to fullfill my human needs and enjoy life. Life is short. We never know what will happen today, tomorrow or the next day.
Essentially, I'm glad I still know what I am venturing and I know this is just temporary. And I am so ready for what will happen next.
Good or bad? Well I just don't care and I will not blame destiny because I don't believe in that. Like what I've said in my recent posts everything is a matter of choice. So whatever wrong things I am venturing right now, it is my choice and if it will be another crest fallen moment in my life well this time I won't blame anyone but myself. :)
I am being thrill seeker right now but what can I do, this helps me enjoy life and escape the loneliness of the bitter reality.
And whatever it takes, I know God is still beside me. Still guiding me and aware of what I am doing at the right moment.
You maybe not understand what I am talking about because I chose to write it this way.
But if you have the gift of extreme deepness and understanding, it will not be difficult for you to figure this out.
At this moment, only three person will understand what I am venturing right now.
It is myself, him and God. :)
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. And God knows that I am still waiting while He is preparing something perfect! :)
