Ever experience having a steady emotion then suddenly change its direction only to find out that you were having a circle of thoughts again of things that would give you an extreme narrow definition of what is happening today? Then, hatred enters one by one like a pop corn inside a heated microwave. I don't want to be a hater, seriously, but sometimes we could not help it but hate things in silent.
I hate when I want to do something that could nurture my skills and talents, and yet I can't do that simply because its luxurious nowadays.
I hate when I am surrounded with irresponsible creatures, claiming that there are passionate in this field but in reality they're doing nothing. Talents and skills might be at birth, but if it is not nurture, it will come to nothing! So don't feel great only because you are good at this or you are good at that. Remember, a talented person is nothing without the gift of extreme perseverance.
I hate being misjudged by other people because of true criticisms. Today, when you throw true judgments, people will think that you are arrogant no matter how nice the tone of your voice when you deliver it. People always want compliments and flattering phrases without knowing that sometimes true criticisms even if it is negative could make them a better person.
I hate the fact that I've been cursed many times with different people saying "wala kang mararating", "hindi ka aasenso" or anything that goes like that! Those lines still planted in my mind even if it was stated a couple of years ago. And that is the reason why I strive this hard.
I hate having loved ones who could not understand your personal legends in life. Sadly, people equated in their minds that education was invented to attain their luxurious life that they are all wishing for. You may call me hypocrite, but I would rather dream of becoming the poorest and ugliest woman in the world with a very high line of thinking than the wealthiest close minded woman in town who enjoys looking herself as a tasty object in the eyes of male species.
I hate being criticized behind your back by those people who once helped you out and inspired you in mastering your crafts in life. It's difficult.. to see, to feel and to hear things that could ruin the image of the person you respect so much. I was crest fallen upon hearing those things, and how I wish I just covered my ears so that I won’t feel this way. Who will tell this people that it is possible to pursue a dream in good faith?Honestly, I am not mad, it's quite disappointing. Swear, God knows that. I am keeping my mind open, so that I could understandthose people.
Things will be alright, and I know this is a challenge. Probably, this could be the worst situation I am facing at present, but I don't have regret because this could be the first step in pursuing my personal legends and 100000000000 more steps await. And no one could ever discourage me from following the steps. People may hate me with this post. They could claim that they know who I'm pertaining to, as usual. So what?
I don't write to play safe! This is my outlet of expressing my emotions. I am not afraid to write simply because I am afraid that my points of view could result into something inconsistent in the future or I maybe published posts that I would regret soon because of the way I wrote it. I am not afraid of change! We live in the changing world, so accept it! As we continue growing, our thoughts and perceptions change. (Malamang tumatanda tayo e!) So why afraid to write if you know it's the product of your own reality?
Just like Paulo Coehlo said, "truth protects you". And I believe in him. :)
Leadership might be flowing on my system at birth, and I never know who's to blame. I like to lead in anything because I know I can teach a thing or two. However, I hate the thought of being in this place sometimes. I never volunteer to become a leader inside or even outside the institution. I let higher authorities or classmates to put me in the position because I hate to brag about my skills and ability.
Leading feels good, especially when the people you are leading believes in your ability and objective. I love the feeling of being praise of the good work and my creativity. Normally, I set the scenes and act the part. I organize whatever goes around me. I do others job just to assure that things will be on the right place.
However, leading gets hard to accept. Especially when you exerted an effort into something and ended up with frustrations.
I was feeling nervous this passed few days because of the school paper thing in my Specialized Writing class. I tried my best in editing my group mates articles, though I know to myself that I often commit grammatical errors and wrong usage of words most of the time. I already forgot the important English lessons I've learned in elementary and high school like the proper way of using the tenses of the verb, the right use of prepositions, the subject-verb agreement and many more! But still I've tried my very best to revise the works of my group mates and mine as well, just to avoid failing grade and embarrassment in front of the class. Being an Editor-in-chief was a real pain in the ass!
You know how much I love writing. It is one of my passion. This blog serves as an instrument to let other people know my thoughts and emotions. I love to express my feelings into words. And as you can see I'm still mastering the creative craft. However, I am not use in other forms of writing. I can write editorials, feature and creative articles but not news! Oh please I don't write news! I don't even know the rules in news writing.
My ignorance to news writing was the cause of my nervousness. Though, I already finished Intro to Journalism two years ago, unfortunately, I haven't learned anything except the definition of LEAD. Yes, as far as I could remember, that was the only thing I learned from that subject. Good thing, one of my member was good in news writing. So she helped me out with the articles and she even taught me the rules in news writing.
As I was recalling things I've learned about news writing, I seriously find it boring. Maybe because it needs to be factual and flowery phrases are prohibited.
When my professor was about to return the school paper we submitted, you could hear a fast flip-flop on my chest. He discussed the major kinks that each school paper had committed, as well as the grammar lapses, wrong usage of words and punctuations which were very embarrassing. I wanted to disappear from my seat when he already handed ours. My news article in the front page had a numerous kinks, and even the word "increases" in the headline was misspelled. That was my bad because I didn't check it carefully before it was printed.
He announced our grades. I had three articles in the school paper. And he only gave my 75. At first, I don't know how to react because I know I exerted too much effort from the articles and even with the lay out. I was the one who almost did everything in the entire paper. When he returned it, I saw high grades in my editorial column and feature article. I asked him about it, and he said that I should have not wrote a news article.
When I heard it, I didn't know how to react and my chest was about to explode!
I am not grade conscious but I hate the fact that those people who just passed trash articles have a higher grade than mine. I couldn't accept the fact that my ignorance in news writing was the key to dump my creative article in editorial and feature. It feels like my efforts in editing other people's articles, lay outing and printing was dumped in just a snap.
As this very moment, my heart is telling me not to let myself get too much frustrated about it. I maybe not good in news writing but this incident maybe the way for me to learn and also master it. And it is just a grade, I could get a higher one in the following terms. I should be happy because my group mates have a higher grade, at least I know I didn't fail being their Editor-in-chief. Maybe my practical knowledge and natural creativity will always be a gift for all the people who needs it. :)
