Friday, August 5, 2011

GROWTH

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
Psalm 32:8

But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Luke 12:31

GUESS WHAT?

It's official! I am now a part of a Life Group! :)

And yes, I am so excited to write about it because I've been praying for it since I've learned from the Purpose Driven Life book that I need to be a part of a spiritual group. Well, before I have to admit that I thought that I'd never need it. I'm an active church goer for a year now but in the past 6 months, I was just there hearing the Word of God without knowing except my friend who brought me there. I said before that hearing the Word of God is enough to deepen my relationship with Him. And so right after learning about the small group, I prayed to have one. I'd been praying for it for a couple of months and getting into a group is not that easy so let me share to you how I got in.

One service, I attended with my friend (the one who brought me there) and I asked him to sign up for a small group with me. At first, he was hesitating but I forced him to do so. So we signed up. After few days, he told me that someone from the church texted him to attend a small group and he asked me if I received one but unfortunately I never got a message from them. I was feeling bad and almost started to think that God doesn't want me to allow to enter one of the groups because I'm not qualified or something. BUT that was not the end, my faith was instructing me to hold on and be patient.

So, one morning while working on my tasks, I decided to visit Victory Fort's official site and there I got into a page where you can sign up to get connected in a group. I signed up for the second time! After a couple of weeks, still I haven't received any message from them. In fact, I've forgotten about it since I was busy doing a lot of stuff.

Then, one Saturday afternoon, finally, I received a message from them asking me to come over for the small group. I was really excited to get there BUT I had a calling that day and that was to stay there and whatever happens and be patient, something will happen. So, I walked in the Youth hall not knowing a single person in there. There were tables and chairs and everyone looked happy with their groups. I sat in an empty table looking around them and waiting for someone to approach me. I was there sitting for almost 30 minutes and not doing anything. I'd been praying that time for someone to tap me and ask me to join in her group because I exerted an effort to go there. I was really about to leave when I remember my calling and that is to stay there and be patient. After a couple of minutes, two ladies passed by the table and I approached one of them and told her the story. Luckily, she's a Lifegroup leader and she adopted me in her group and now she's coaching me.

So that's the story! God fulfills his promise! I could have just walked out of the room but the holy spirit was there to guide me. And now, I'm walking with Him together with the awesome ladies I have in the group. I love my LifeGroup! During LifeGroup is a time where you and your fellow sisters share same thoughts and express love to God. A time where you can't just help but praise God and acknowledge Him in every way! A time that you hear real stories or testimonies from people who are being touched by the greatness of our God Almighty. And a perfect time to deepen your faith with God where you can pray for one another! Thank you Lord for letting me in! :)

GROWTH & TRANSFORMATION

At present, I'm undergoing on OnetoOne. Thanks for my Lifegroup leader for coaching me. And I love how God uses Phoebe (my leader) to nurture my faith and to have a Christlike character. I've been hearing her and other pastors speak about growth and change. They say, if you really walk away from the old you people will notice it. And if you want to invite people come to Christ, it should be start in you. That sometimes the reason why non-believers keep from not believing is because of us, believers, who come to church and not living the Word of God. And that if you really grow and become fruitful, non-believers or even people with little faith will come to you and ask for your help to get into Christ as well.

Whenever I hear someone preaching about it, I can't help but to think that the pastor or whoever preaching it knows me so well to use me in their preaching. It's so me! Going to church, listening to Victory podcasts, tweeting Bible verses and telling people that I'm a Christian BUT the actions are still the same. I actually got offended with some people around me criticizing my faith because they say, they can't see it. I'm still the loudmouthed Carla or Cang who say bad words and can't stop talking a lot!

Seriously, my heart is breaking every time people around me interrogates my Christianity. They're judging me and it hurts a lot. So, I decided to put everything to God. His Word becomes my armor. Whenever I feel down, I read His Word and He never fails to make me feel better. I became active to church and share wisdom through tweeting the verses that got me.

After few months, I could notice the changes and transformation that God has been working on ever since I started walking with Christ. I appreciate simple things and I know God does as well like picking up trash, saying Thank You's to people I don't even know, being generous or helping out strangers, saying sorry if I think I got offended someone, trying not to get annoyed with tiny things, thinking first before speaking, etc. Oh well, the last part, still working really hard on that. :D I really want people to see that I'm a changed lady!

But lately, I just realized that I think I'm failing. It's like the people around me can't see it. I was really waiting for them to say, "Hey, you're changing it" BUT no! I feel like the same old Cang except I'm reading the Bible. So from that, it makes me cry out to God. I was even asking Him to take away my life the other day because it's like I can't be different in the eyes of people. It's really hard and I just can't stand it. I was really praying that time for me to experience Him and to comfort me because I know, He knows that I'm doing the right thing and that it takes time and to make me understand that other people's approval doesn't matter.

So last Sunday, my former co-worker who's facing a difficult problem at present asked me to attend a service with him. He was a Christian by heart and backslided for three years to enjoy what the world has to offer. We're not really close at the office but when we found out that we're both Christians, we became friends and treat each other as brother and sister. His faith is tossing and I know I have a calling from God to bring his faith back. He has his faith planted in his heart, the thing is, He doesn't know how to make that faith grow. He doesn't know how to get back to God's kingdom especially right now that he badly needs God in his life. I went to attend the service with him though it's far away from my place.

From there, the preaching got me so hard. The pastor talked about growth through the Word of God. He said that growth is internal and that it takes time. After the service, I've realized that maybe the reason why people can't see it because the pastor was right, it's internal. And God sees it so no need to worry, I'm still in the right track and it takes time for people to notice it. Plus, I should have not mind it in the first place as long as I know to myself that I'm doing the right thing then, I know I'm the right path.

And yesterday was different! My friend and I talked about things we used to talk about. I don't know how we got from religion. But I was surprised when she said there's changes in me. That seriously blown me away because I always hang out with that friend these days. So, I know she wouldn't notice if I'm really growing. She's non-believer so she said it's good in some part but then it hinders my creativity because I'm restricted and can't expand my thinking now. It's like from being open-minded to being restricted because of the Law of God. I don't mind her opinion about the road I'm on cos I can't blame her if she thinks that way. But the thing is, she could notice the changes!

I'm getting excited over this not because I know that I will surely enter God's kingdom one day or I got convinced a friend that I'm a Christian. NO! It's because God has given me a sign that I'm really growing and there is no turning back. The truth set me free and He's transforming me. God's showing me that I was wrong, I am not failing! That I'm actually doing things perfectly! I can't help but to smile how good and great God truly is! Plus, the preaching that says non-believers will come to you if they see amazing changes in your life, that's actually true! My former co-worker would not ask me to attend the service with him or ask him to pray for him if he can't see how God is working in my life. Plus, some of my friends are taking baby steps to grow their faith with God as well. Pastor Paulo is right! We just need to point people to God and He will do the rest.

I know God is using me! And it is my pleasure to do all those things! He is awesome! I just can't stop praising him and worshiping him! Thanks for transforming me, the new ME is just awesome! THANK YOU Lord God! :)