Celebrating Christmas

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

(let me answer it as the way I used to define Christmas when I was a little)

-- We celebrate Christmas because it's the birthday of Jesus Christ, our Lord. It is a time where I receive a lot of gifts and pennies (which is the other way around today :D) and where I get to eat all my favorite food! We also celebrate Christmas to give thanks and to ask forgiveness for all the people we've done wrong for the whole year (or many years ago) and the best part is that, it is when we have reason to text our crushes or ex-boyfriends! Like, it is really a chance that if we missed, then, we'll have to wait for another year! :D

Phew! So, really, that was the way I used to define Christmas celebration. Shallow, isn't it? BUT today, I am proud to say that it is way way different now. Thank you, God for renewing my mind! :)

Sooo, YES, like other religions say, they don't celebrate Christmas because December 25 is really not the exact date of the birth of Jesus and it is just a Pagan holiday. I even got to watch a preaching about that date from other Christian channel where the preacher showed proof that December 25 states as the birth of Jesus in a Catholic Dictionary but at the same time, the Catholic Encyclopedia admits that it is not really the exact date. 

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. -- Luke 2:4-7

Like, if you look closely, as it is written, you would ask yourself.. How could a baby placed in a manger born in winter season? So, definitely, December 25 is not really the exact date because it is not in the Bible.

BUT remember, even if we don't know the exact date of Jesus' birthday, we should keep in mind that everyday is HIS! So, even December 25 is his. And so, what if we celebrate it on that date? The important part is that, we get to celebrate His birthday and treat it as a special day once a year. Although, we should not just remember Him on that date. Again, EVERYDAY IS HIS and especially in this season, let us not forget Him!

Now, going back to celebrating it, last Friday, I attended a Friday night service in a local church in Pulilan, Bulacan. It was my very first time to attend a service in a local church in the province. An old woman preached about Christmas and I must say that her preaching made me appreciate the birth of Jesus more. Like, I was so amazed to hear that there is a greater reason why we should celebrate His birth.

And one is that, in the Old Testament, many times, it was prophesied that a Savior will be born. So, the people in the Old Testament waited for so long for Jesus to come. And in the New Testament, Jesus was born and by His grace we are all saved! And now, we are just waiting for His return.

And YES, we are waiting.. Waiting for so long like the people in the Old Testament did. However, I was really amazed with what the preacher said. It is not actually us who are waiting at all BUT it is HIM! Like, He could return now, as in now or long before we were born BUT what take Him so long, right? Is He not ready, yet? Of course, not! Jesus is always prepared because He is our Lord, our Savior! The thing is, HE WANTS MORE PEOPLE TO BE SAVED! He wants His lost sheep back! :)

Don't you think it is something to be grateful and celebrate with all our hearts? That the Lord that we serve is actually the one waiting and not us? That all by His grace, love and goodness, He'd like more and more of His children will live with Him forever. That is the God that we serve!

Imagine if Jesus came like 5 years ago, I can't imagine where in the world I would be right now or I might not be existing at all! Thank you, Lord for your amazing love!!

So, let us renew our minds and not boxed Jesus as the one who just died on the cross for us BUT because of His amazing love He has been waiting for us, too. And we, as His followers and the children of God, we are called to spread the good news all for God's glory.

Now, as you read this, I hope you, too, would celebrate Christmas as you never had before! Take advantage of the whole season to thank Him, praise Him and honor Him with everything you do! Be grateful that He has come not just to save you but to wait for you. This special season is only for HIM regardless of the exact date, no one knows but the fact that we honor this season for HIM would definitely glorify HIM.

Merry merry Christmas good people! :)

Completeness & Self-worth

I learned in college that impact of attention to females. Like I find it really weird because sometimes or most of the time, I tend to see other people's action as a product of getting the attention they desire. I would really sound hypocrite if I say, I don't like attention! I WANT IT! Let's deal with it, we love attention! Regardless of the gender we belong, we can't escape the fact that we fish for it.

But attention has different impact to women. We love to stand out and to feel beautiful at all times! Sometimes, we just love to look good in order to feel good BUT most of the time, we exert effort just to get noticed by men hoping to belong to them. Believe me, I've been friends with different types of women and I must say, most of them feels like they need to look beautiful in order to get the guys that they're eyeing for a long time. The truth is, I am one of them!! :) 

I've been out of a relationship for almost three years now but I am happy. And I am just thankful that I had this early realization about relationships when I started having one. That is, we are born alone so we'll die alone. Therefore, having one could never ever satisfy you. I've been into different kinds of relationship and none of them made me really really happy to the point that I don't get sad anymore. So, the bottom line is, relationship is not the answer.

Now, since I don't have boyfriend for a long time, I thought I need to focus on myself like knowing my season in life, strengthening my relationship with God, getting more wisdom, exploring different things and making myself beautiful on the side. I've been happy doing these stuff but then, there were times when I felt left out and really really ugly. Like, I was asking myself why I don't have one when I know that I am more physically attractive than other women who are currently in a relationship. I started to ask God about it and really just couldn't stop to wonder why I was feeling that way. That made me think it was one of the enemy's trap! He wanted me to feel alone for me to look for a wrong person to satisfy my loneliness! So, I was fighting that feeling.

Then, I opened that thing to one of my new Christian girlfriends I got to meet during our Singles' retreat. She said that desire of being belong to someone else comes from God. He put that desire in everyone's heart especially for women. The moment she said that, I was totally amazed! Imagine, how hard I was pushing that thought away thinking that it was coming from the enemy?! And the things that she said was backed up by our Pastor on that day as well, during one of our retreat sessions. He stressed that  "The desire for relationships is a God-given desire."

Now, if it's a God-given desire then what should we do to fulfill it? First, we should keep in mind that even if we belong to someone, that would never satisfy us. You see your parents together for a long time, right? Have you ever asked them if they never ever feel lonely the whole time they've been together? You see, relationship from the opposite sex is not the answer! Yes, it's so pleasurable hearing someone telling you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are BUT you would never ever feel complete! You would still find a hole in yourself that needs to be fill in.

And that is JESUS! :)

For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.

Colossians 2:9-10 

Jesus is everything! He loves us despite of who we are and what we are! Jesus doesn't mind of if we don't wear BB creme or the way we dress. He doesn't care if our hair looks bad. He accepts us of who we are and love us unconditionally! :)

Now, let's go back to the desire thing. I'd like to clarify that the desire is coming from God BUT the feeling of being left out or unattractive is not coming from Him, it is coming from the enemy. Enemy loves to point out our flaws and weaknesses, so we'll have reasons to hate God. So, whenever the enemy tells us how unattractive we are compare to other people, own it up and tell him that despite of those things, you are still God's princess and that HE loves you! :) Again, we should keep in mind that anything that has nothing to do with grace, goodness and love is not coming from God. 

If you are reading this especially if you are a lady, you know exactly what I'm talking about here. I want you to know that YOU ARE LOVED! Regardless if you are in a relationship or not, don't feel alone, unattractive or left out! You are God's creative masterpiece and you are beautiful because you are God's princess. And it is not true that you don't belong to someone else because YOU BELONG TO JESUS! 

If you still feel not special because you think no one cares for you, well, I just want to remind you that the Son of God died on the cross thousand years ago just for you to enjoy life. Now, tell me, is the guy you're eyeing for a long time can do the same thing for you?

You wouldn't understand what I mean unless you start following Jesus. Ladies, learn from the past.. Aren't you tired from dating unworthy men? Know your self-worth! You don't deserve someone that would hurt you again and treat you bad because someone died for you on the cross! All the things that I'm saying wouldn't make sense, SO start following Christ. You would never know where it will lead you. The true peace and completeness is all in Him. Let His grace transform you and renew your mind.

You don't believe that God can transform and renew your mind?

Read all the posts I've got here from oldest to present. :) 

Wisdom Rules

Wisdom is always better than knowledge. You can easily have both of them. Sure, you have every access to get those BUT the process of getting them is different.

Intellectual stuff are really amazing. It makes you discover things that people around you couldn't care less about. It makes you feel extraordinary or superior from other people because you are capable of learning and knowing those stuff. As what I've learned in college (and I'm still holding into this up until now), INTELLIGENCE IS RELATIVE. If you want to be intelligent into something, all you need to do is invest time to learn it. You need to be eager, focus and passionate into it but of course, you cannot be intelligent into everything cos you are not God! And no matter how intelligent you think you are, one day, God will hit your ego to make you feel not. That's why I've said into something. The good news is that, learning intellectual stuff is painless, nowadays! You don't need to send yourself back to school just to learn something, buy expensive books or stay long hours in the national library. Google is just one click away and it's free that opens 24/7. So, if you think you want to be intelligent and you think you can't be one, you need to think twice. 

But you see, learning those intellectual stuff is MEANINGLESS. No matter how many philosophies or theories you've learned if there are no applications in life, then, they are meaningless! YOU JUST KNOW THEM PERIOD. The thing about it is that, we feel special knowing those stuff but we can't even share it with people because most of the time, nobody cares! That's why if you're passionate in learning intellectual stuff, there is an intense need of writing it or in any other form of art and you share it online. And the worst part is that, sure, you know those things BUT you can't do something about it which leads to depression and frustration especially if it's too much.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

Ecclesiastes 1:18 NIV

UNLIKE wisdom, it comes from Heaven. It is something that you can apply to your everyday life. It encourages yourself and the people around you. It is gentle and very understanding, it always comes with good intentions, so that would never make you feel superior from others. Wisdom is the road to maturity and once you have it, you would not just decide based on current circumstances or let your emotion as your deciding factor because you know that it comes from your heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9 NIV

That is why you know that you need to guard your heart because it is the course of your life. But you can't trust it and so, you ask guidance from God with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4: 23 NIV

Wisdom also teaches us to do the right thing that is holy and pleasing in the eyes of God. If you have it, you don't just easily flirt with what the world has to offer. You break free from the stereotype that "it feels good, so it is right" worldly way, that is pure SELF-CENTEREDNESS! You know your purpose and you live it by doing the right thing.

Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. 
For wisdom will enter your heart, 
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. 
Discretion will protect you, 
and understanding will guard you.
Proverbs 2:9-11 NIV

It's a big WOW, right? But how do you get it? As what I've said earlier, that makes it different from getting knowledge. Well, wisdom is from heaven, so, obviously, we get it from God. Then, you maybe asking me, "Is that even possible? Hello? I sin 24/7.. I'm not qualified, so how could God give that to me?". You maybe thinking that way but actually, we all have access into that wisdom! Regardless if you're sinning or not (NOT? Really? You don't sin? Everyone sins against God, deal with it!), we just need to ask! God knows all your sin and intention but He does not dig it and punch it between the eyes when you're asking for wisdom. And oh, you might say "You've got to be kidding me! You're just saying that", but it is written and I'll tell you what, God's grace is sufficient for you and me! Even if we don't deserve it, God's giving it for free!! 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:5 NIV

SEE? That is how loving the God that we serve! I'd like to stress this line without finding fault! Can you imagine if getting wisdom is based on the good things you've done in your life? Maybe you can count the wise people on your fingers. 

In the same light, being wise and intelligent are not in born. You might heard other people say, intelligence is inherited or a person was born like that. But no, like what I've said it is relative, so, you can be into something as much as you want to be. Same is true with wisdom, YOU JUST NEED TO ASK. :)  Although, you might say that God has chosen people to be wise and that is true. They are really called to be like that but they chose God first before they become chosen. They have decided to follow Christ and live out their purposes. Sure, God may have different  plans for us because each one of us are unique but the decision of being wise will always come from us and the desire will come from God and it will be given all by His grace if we just ask. :)

Twenty-One :)

It supposed to be posted last November 26, 2011 but I decided to post the recent last two posts about my dreams because I might forget those.

Hooray to my 21st year here on earth!!!! All credit goes to my Sovereign Father of the Universe. Thank YOU for the Gift of Life :) And I am so living this gift that is holy and pleasing in Your eyes.

My 20th year was the most meaningful year of my life. In that year, I've got to make a video that I like, found a new job, met a lot of wonderful people, got a chance to serve God in small ways, got to be very active in church, became a member of a small group, got to receive Christ and publicly declared it by being baptized in the water and the Spirit, got to attend spiritual seminar and retreat, gone to some of the beautiful places in the Philippines, got to work with an amazing boss and co-workers and they're just so many that I could not list them all here. But really, it was a turning point of my life. So, I promise that I'm gonna write about the events of 2011 before it ends. So, stay tuned! :)

I AM JUST SO THANKFUL!!!!
God has been blessing me a lot! And I can't help but to thank Him for all He has done.
I was really dead right after college and this blog will prove you the way I got fed up with everything BUT all by His overflowing grace that even if I don't deserve it, He has given it with love.
I am so grateful to where I am right now. Living for Him was the best decision I've ever done in my life!
I feel so free and alive!!! And the joy in my heart that I know that I am with Him is just priceless.

I am now God's chosen princess and I am so proud to say that. I've chosen to live for Him, that's why He has chosen me to be one of His blessed princesses.

I'M JUST IN LOVE WITH GOD :)
My faith is flourishing and it's really because of Him.

I LOVE SERVING HIM AND I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GLORIFY HIM.

Thank You for the amazing life with YOU! Believing for more wisdom, provisions, guidance and blessings this year! I LOVE YOUUUUU! <3

SECOND TIME + WhiteBoy [dream#2 11.27.11]

I was in a different country. I know because it was a little cold and there were white people. I was at the airport although it doesn't look it was. I was going somewhere, somewhere that I wasn't sure about. I entered the plane and I was a accompanied by a blonde woman. The moment I fastened my seat belt, the plane started to fly very fast. And the next thing I knew, I was flying all by myself! The whole plane disappeared and turned into a very tiny helicopter that it only fits one person! And FYI, it doesn't look like a typical one-seater helicopter. There was no roof in it and I wasn't the one driving it. It was really weird and scary! I was just sitting there with my hands holding the chair as it flew so fast. Thank goodness there was a seat belt!!!

My dream was telling me that I was in Vancouver. Looking at it, the view was really beautiful with the clouds in the sky. I could see the whole city and I could tell that it's not really in the Philippines. Maybe, it was really the top view of Vancouver because I'm sure that I've seen some of those in pictures. I was flying really really fast and I could not really enjoyed the view because I was really scared. And I heard an audible voice beside me! 

IT WAS GOD!!!

But this time, He was not visible! Where was He? I don't know.. but I was hearing Him! 

He spoke to me in Tagalog.

"Bakit ka natatakot?" (Why are you scared?)

And then, I answered.

"E kasi lumilipad ako ang bilis baka mahulog ako." (Cos I'm flying and it's really fast that I might fall.)

Then, I flew back to the terminal and the next thing I knew was I'm back in Manila. And layers of scenes dominated my dream.

---

And there was a white kid. I couldn't remember his face but I know it was a white kid or teenager? He maybe same as the age of Justin Bieber. And he loves me. He was really showing his affection to me and he was dead serious. It looked so real. He was holding my hand while we were reading something. I was telling him my dream about flying when a woman approached us and asked him to go back to his country. It was like a "teleserye", where he could not love me because he was too young for me. And I was aware of that. I was pushing him away (in a nice way) as well. SO WEIRD!! I wish I could remember his face.

----------

So, anyway, it was the second time I dreamed about God. And this time, He was able to ask me! I just heard His voice. And I find it very sweet for Him to ask me why I was scared. True that! I know I have faith but I am unconsciously faithless in some things. I worried a lot especially when I'm on a boat or plane or trip. I feel like I'm not always safe but still, I keep praying. Yes, I acknowledge His presence but do I trust Him in those times? Maybe, not! I'm always afraid that I might die and that something bad will happen to me.

NOT GOOD!

Thank you, God for showing up (asking) for the second time!!!

YOU ARE RIGHT, WHY SHOULD I BE SCARED???

If YOU are with me, then who or what can be against me??? :) 

FIRST TIME [dream#1 11.16.11]

I was walking in the middle of 29 Avenue. It's like I was watching an indie film, the colors looked graded and very cinematic. So, from that moment I knew I was dreaming. As I continued watching myself walk, I could see people walking towards me. People that I haven't seen before.. People from another tribe or race (I could tell by their looks that they are). They were staring at me fiercely, it's like I killed one of them even if I did not. I started to wonder why they were looking at me in that way and started asking myself these questions:

"Is this your place? But I'm here at 29 Avenue.."
"Who are you people? Am I the only person here who doesn't know that we are invaded by these people?"
"Is this really a dream? If not, what should I do now?"

And then, like what I've said I was like watching a film, right? A film where I was the lead character because it's my dream! So, for some reason the frame of the dream was switched to long shot. It made me see not just myself and the ones walking towards me but the whole thing around me. And I saw JESUS!

Yes, I'm pretty sure that was Him! He was glowing.. It was like the one who edited the film that I was watching intentionally added a glow to make Him stand out. His hair was long and He was wearing white. He was probably the familiar Jesus image we've seen that introduced by the Catholic church. That's why I couldn't help but ask if that's really Him.

HE WAS WALKING WITH ME.
He really was. I was looking at Him but I could not see His face. He didn't speak a single word. He was just walking.. with me.

Do you guys know the feeling when you are walking with a friend and you guys don't talk but you are aware with each other's presence?? That's exactly how I felt! It's like we were very close but didn't just talk for some reason. Maybe because we were busy walking?

And I continued walking with Him, for some reason, I felt secured. The fear and confusion about the people from other tribe or race that they might do something bad about me was vanished. I was aware that I was walking with Jesus regardless if He speaks or not. From that moment, I knew I was safe no matter what I do.

Until now, I'm still waiting for the revelation of that dream. It was the first time I dreamed about Him. The joy in my heart is just priceless. I've never thought of dreaming about Him. And I know only few people were able to dream about Him and I am proud to say that I was one of those blessed people. :)

Thank you for walking with me, Lord Jesus :)
I hope you speak to me even in my dreams one night.

I love you! :)

GROWTH

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalm 32:8

But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Luke 12:31

GUESS WHAT?

It's official! I am now a part of a Life Group! :)

And yes, I am so excited to write about it because I've been praying for it since I've learned from the Purpose Driven Life book that I need to be a part of a spiritual group. Well, before I have to admit that I thought that I'd never need it. I'm an active church goer for a year now but in the past 6 months, I was just there hearing the Word of God without knowing except my friend who brought me there. I said before that hearing the Word of God is enough to deepen my relationship with Him. And so right after learning about the small group, I prayed to have one. I'd been praying for it for a couple of months and getting into a group is not that easy so let me share to you how I got in.

One service, I attended with my friend (the one who brought me there) and I asked him to sign up for a small group with me. At first, he was hesitating but I forced him to do so. So we signed up. After few days, he told me that someone from the church texted him to attend a small group and he asked me if I received one but unfortunately I never got a message from them. I was feeling bad and almost started to think that God doesn't want me to allow to enter one of the groups because I'm not qualified or something. BUT that was not the end, my faith was instructing me to hold on and be patient.

So, one morning while working on my tasks, I decided to visit Victory Fort's official site and there I got into a page where you can sign up to get connected in a group. I signed up for the second time! After a couple of weeks, still I haven't received any message from them. In fact, I've forgotten about it since I was busy doing a lot of stuff.

Then, one Saturday afternoon, finally, I received a message from them asking me to come over for the small group. I was really excited to get there BUT I had a calling that day and that was to stay there and whatever happens and be patient, something will happen. So, I walked in the Youth hall not knowing a single person in there. There were tables and chairs and everyone looked happy with their groups. I sat in an empty table looking around them and waiting for someone to approach me. I was there sitting for almost 30 minutes and not doing anything. I'd been praying that time for someone to tap me and ask me to join in her group because I exerted an effort to go there. I was really about to leave when I remember my calling and that is to stay there and be patient. After a couple of minutes, two ladies passed by the table and I approached one of them and told her the story. Luckily, she's a Lifegroup leader and she adopted me in her group and now she's coaching me.

So that's the story! God fulfills his promise! I could have just walked out of the room but the holy spirit was there to guide me. And now, I'm walking with Him together with the awesome ladies I have in the group. I love my LifeGroup! During LifeGroup is a time where you and your fellow sisters share same thoughts and express love to God. A time where you can't just help but praise God and acknowledge Him in every way! A time that you hear real stories or testimonies from people who are being touched by the greatness of our God Almighty. And a perfect time to deepen your faith with God where you can pray for one another! Thank you Lord for letting me in! :)

GROWTH & TRANSFORMATION

At present, I'm undergoing on OnetoOne. Thanks for my Lifegroup leader for coaching me. And I love how God uses Phoebe (my leader) to nurture my faith and to have a Christlike character. I've been hearing her and other pastors speak about growth and change. They say, if you really walk away from the old you people will notice it. And if you want to invite people come to Christ, it should be start in you. That sometimes the reason why non-believers keep from not believing is because of us, believers, who come to church and not living the Word of God. And that if you really grow and become fruitful, non-believers or even people with little faith will come to you and ask for your help to get into Christ as well.

Whenever I hear someone preaching about it, I can't help but to think that the pastor or whoever preaching it knows me so well to use me in their preaching. It's so me! Going to church, listening to Victory podcasts, tweeting Bible verses and telling people that I'm a Christian BUT the actions are still the same. I actually got offended with some people around me criticizing my faith because they say, they can't see it. I'm still the loudmouthed Carla or Cang who say bad words and can't stop talking a lot!

Seriously, my heart is breaking every time people around me interrogates my Christianity. They're judging me and it hurts a lot. So, I decided to put everything to God. His Word becomes my armor. Whenever I feel down, I read His Word and He never fails to make me feel better. I became active to church and share wisdom through tweeting the verses that got me.

After few months, I could notice the changes and transformation that God has been working on ever since I started walking with Christ. I appreciate simple things and I know God does as well like picking up trash, saying Thank You's to people I don't even know, being generous or helping out strangers, saying sorry if I think I got offended someone, trying not to get annoyed with tiny things, thinking first before speaking, etc. Oh well, the last part, still working really hard on that. :D I really want people to see that I'm a changed lady!

But lately, I just realized that I think I'm failing. It's like the people around me can't see it. I was really waiting for them to say, "Hey, you're changing it" BUT no! I feel like the same old Cang except I'm reading the Bible. So from that, it makes me cry out to God. I was even asking Him to take away my life the other day because it's like I can't be different in the eyes of people. It's really hard and I just can't stand it. I was really praying that time for me to experience Him and to comfort me because I know, He knows that I'm doing the right thing and that it takes time and to make me understand that other people's approval doesn't matter.

So last Sunday, my former co-worker who's facing a difficult problem at present asked me to attend a service with him. He was a Christian by heart and backslided for three years to enjoy what the world has to offer. We're not really close at the office but when we found out that we're both Christians, we became friends and treat each other as brother and sister. His faith is tossing and I know I have a calling from God to bring his faith back. He has his faith planted in his heart, the thing is, He doesn't know how to make that faith grow. He doesn't know how to get back to God's kingdom especially right now that he badly needs God in his life. I went to attend the service with him though it's far away from my place.

From there, the preaching got me so hard. The pastor talked about growth through the Word of God. He said that growth is internal and that it takes time. After the service, I've realized that maybe the reason why people can't see it because the pastor was right, it's internal. And God sees it so no need to worry, I'm still in the right track and it takes time for people to notice it. Plus, I should have not mind it in the first place as long as I know to myself that I'm doing the right thing then, I know I'm the right path.

And yesterday was different! My friend and I talked about things we used to talk about. I don't know how we got from religion. But I was surprised when she said there's changes in me. That seriously blown me away because I always hang out with that friend these days. So, I know she wouldn't notice if I'm really growing. She's non-believer so she said it's good in some part but then it hinders my creativity because I'm restricted and can't expand my thinking now. It's like from being open-minded to being restricted because of the Law of God. I don't mind her opinion about the road I'm on cos I can't blame her if she thinks that way. But the thing is, she could notice the changes!

I'm getting excited over this not because I know that I will surely enter God's kingdom one day or I got convinced a friend that I'm a Christian. NO! It's because God has given me a sign that I'm really growing and there is no turning back. The truth set me free and He's transforming me. God's showing me that I was wrong, I am not failing! That I'm actually doing things perfectly! I can't help but to smile how good and great God truly is! Plus, the preaching that says non-believers will come to you if they see amazing changes in your life, that's actually true! My former co-worker would not ask me to attend the service with him or ask him to pray for him if he can't see how God is working in my life. Plus, some of my friends are taking baby steps to grow their faith with God as well. Pastor Paulo is right! We just need to point people to God and He will do the rest.

I know God is using me! And it is my pleasure to do all those things! He is awesome! I just can't stop praising him and worshiping him! Thanks for transforming me, the new ME is just awesome! THANK YOU Lord God! :)

Reasons to be :)

How do I start this? I really don't know how but I'm just really happy for all the blessings that God has given me. So let me start it by quoting one of the verses that inspired me this morning.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

1 Chronicles 16:34

So a couple of weeks ago, my nephew was taken away from us for some reason that I don't feel like discussing here. All of us were very alarmed to the point that my parents and my brother bashing each other because they couldn't accept the fact that my nephew was treated like an object (that's what they think). My 7-year-old nephew is the only reason why all of us still fighting for life especially for my parents. That's why they were the ones very affected when that happened. I really didn't know what to do and it sucks to just look at the situation and cannot do something about it. I really felt bad for my parents and my brother because I could feel their pain. I was hurt too but I was thinking positively that my nephew will be back. Since we were all paralyzed into that situation, the best thing I decided to do it to put all the worries and pain to God. I cried out and prayed to get things better.

And guess what, after one week my nephew was back and it was also my dad's 51st birthday. So I got to things to be thankful that day and that was my dad long years on earth and my nephew's homecoming.

Next, you know how I cried out in my posts where I wrote about how I'm feeling stupid and not being accurate at work? Do you guys remember that? Guess what, I still make mistakes! Lol But the thing is, the mistakes I make now are not really detrimental but acceptable. And my boss even told me that she appreciates my work and she thinks I'm improving. That really made my day!!! Seriously, I couldn't help but smile the moment she said that. Because God knows how much I've prayed and worked hard to be accurate and not to make mistakes. But still, I know to myself that I need to focus on tiny details and be more organize. So awesome!

And lastly and the most fresh! Every month our company recognized people who don't get late and absent for the entire month by giving latest gadgets. Luckily, I was one of those people. I've never been absent/late since the day I started in my company. So yesterday, I was on my way to the office to attend a Fitness and Wellness health seminar and the draw. I know I was a calling from God that I'm gonna win that day. He keeps saying I'm going to walk away with gadget. I was hoping but not expecting. Fortunately, my name got picked three times. I won an iPod Nano in the first game which made me very happy. I was really thinking of giving it to my father as a birthday gift. So right after the first game, I went to washroom to express my happiness and also to thank God for that blessing. But then, he keeps on telling me that there's one more! So I was lost for the two games. But surprisingly, I won the last game. And an iPod Touch was the prize for that game. I had the power to exchange it into an iPad. So since we already have iTouch at home I decided to exchange it together with the Nano into an iPad. I was really so lucky and I kept on thanking God for that wonderful blessing.

You know what, the truth is I like that iPad but I know that I don't need it. I'm not very tech savvy but I'm not really aiming for it. The thought that I got it because I don't have missed concerts for three consecutive month fires me up big time. My family are very proud of me.

God's blessings are too much. I could not ask more! Yes, he's giving a lot of circumstances but the fact that he always guide me and bless me are enough to make me whole and praise him with all my heart. I really don't have luck when it comes to raffle but yesterday was different. I don't want to think that God is already rewarding me because those are just material things that I don't need but I know he's giving me those things for a purpose. And what is that purpose? Well, it's for me to know and it's for you to find.

I love youuuuuuuuuu so much Lord! :)

Chapter 15: Formed for God's Family

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows to be called his children, and we really are!

1 John 3:1 (NLT)

You were formed for God's family.

The second purpose of your life to be a part of God's family. He planned it before you were born. Now, how could that be possible? Yes, every human being was created by God but not all can be God's children. In order to belong to God's family you should let yourself be part of it by BAPTISM.

Do you know that the family you have at the moment is not the only family you can have? There is a physical family -- the one that you have and a spiritual family. It says in this chapter that your spiritual family is more important than your physical because they'll be your family forever.

And of course, good things will come upon belonging yourself to God's family. Like you can be a part of it in eternity and everything God has will be yours. Being born again into it is the greatest achievement you'll ever have.

Note to God:

Lord, my parents said I was baptized in your kingdom when I was a little but I still don't know if it's true cos I can't remember it. The truth is, I want to be baptized but I don't know how. And I haven't fully surrendered. I always lift my hand whenever the pastor ask it for surrendering to you. Sure, our relationship is intact. You're like a wind, I can't see you but I can feel you. But I hope you could help me to stay away from bad things. Please and help me how to get officially in your family. I love you!

Girl Interrupted

I just watched Girl Interrupted starred by Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie on Youtube. That movie got me because it's about a girl who was sent in a mental institute because she's different. That was set in Woodstock year (60's) and so the social structure in America was very stereotypical. Susanna's (played by Winona) only plan after graduation was to be a writer and she noted that she didn't want to be like her mother. She was sent to Claymoore, it's basically an asylum that looks like a vacation place to girls who suffers from different kinds of mental disorder. All her inmates were obviously suffered by disorders and fortunately she became friends with them.

Basically, the movie is about finding oneself. Susanna was not insane and so were some of the girls there. It's just that the world was sent them there. And yes, they may not be really insane but they need to be there to cure and make them feel better.

Okay so I don't really feel like criticizing or making a review about the movie because it's not my intention of writing this post. I just want to let my thoughts out cos I might forget it if I don't write it now. That movie reminds me of a friend of mine who told me that I have a disorder. Well, she said that in jest but that actually punched me. And why did she say that?

So the story goes like this, that friend of mine hates the way I dress. She thinks I'm "baduy" or have no sense of fashion because she loves to dress a lot. And she thinks that her style is very glamorous. Well, seriously, I also don't like the way she dresses up but I don't say it to her because we have different taste. So most of the time she always attacks my outfits and I always let it go because I understand the way she thinks.

But one morning she made a real impact to me by telling me that she thinks I have a disorder and that I'm weird because of the way I dress, the things I like, etc. And of course, I didn't say anything about it and just laugh at it. But deep inside, I was hurt. I even wrote it in my notebook. That was the scariest remark I've ever received. Your friend telling you that you have a disorder is not good.

So I was like asking myself, was she right? How do you consider if a person has a disorder? By her style, music? What is wrong with the world? We are all different and God has planned it. And so what if I'm like this or like that? Telling someone he/she has a disorder is not cool simply because he/she is different or not like you. The society sets standard but not every one follows. I am not angry but I'm just sad cos I know I can't even do something about it. :/

ThankYou

Numerous things to be thankful but I haven't written them here in ages. And so, let's do this!

THANK YOU Lord . .

.. because I'm still alive! I don't know how long my life would be here on earth but I'm very thankful because you let me experience living in this world You created. Living here is priceless despite of all the pain and suffering. You're awesome! :)

.. because You're doing things in my life perfectly! Everything lies in your purpose and You're directing it stunningly. I am so proud of being Your daughter and I'm spreading Your word as far as I can.

.. because You're teaching me how to be patient and more understanding.

.. because You're guiding me in the right path to serve You. I've prayed for it and You've heard my prayer. I'm so happy serving You by using the talents and skills You've given me.

.. because You're letting circumstances and problems teach me to be more matured and to depend on You. My client and I are back to normal. I am now more organized than before. I don't really pay attention with details but right now I'm learning how. And it's all because of YOU. :)

.. because Your presence and words are very powerful! That it makes me hate people who doesn't believe in You. I know it's not good to hate them but I'm trying to ignore them but I can't help but to feel bad every time You're being backfired by people.

.. because You're helping me and my family financially. Thanks for Your unlimited provisions. It's hard to be the last hope of my parents but You're teaching me how to be strong and You're washing out all the bad thoughts that polluting my mind.

Every thing is in the right place.

And every day, I can't help but to think of how amazing You truly are in changing my character.

I know, I still have a hard time getting away from some evil actions and desires but it takes time. And I'm pretty sure You understand me.

Thank you for every thing Lord.

ILOVEYOU :)

HARDSHIP :/

I've been working in a Canadian company for almost three months. And I have to say, it's a new horizon for me. My current job is exactly the opposite of the first one. Like before, I used to talk a lot where my jaw hurts because I teach English to Koreans and now my jaw still hurts not for talking a lot but because I sometimes don't speak at all. So, yes, my job doesn't required verbal communication. Almost all transaction happens through email and chat. Which is easy for other people but for me? I don't think so.

So after graduating from the training, I got paired up with one of the well-known account we have in the company. Everything was so fast. I remember, one night my boss asked me if I have a photo shop experience and I said "yes" because I really have and I didn't just say that to please him and got me paired with a client. But I told him that I'm not really an expert but I'm not a beginner, so I can't weigh my skill. And so for that, I was asked to take a Photoshop quiz with a potential client (which is my current client) via Skype. I was asked to do a feature sheet and my screen was shared while I was working on that so she could see if I really know how to use the software. And the next day the new contract was right in my fingertips. It was really fast.

And so I'm working with my client for almost two months now. And the truth is I'm really loving my job. My Photoshop skill is improving because I use it every day and I get to learn different stuff every day. I'm not a computer geek, every one knows that. My client is very approachable and nice but one thing about her is that she is very picky and strict. Well, my bosses warned me about that. She's a grammar and spelling Nazi. That's why it takes a long time for me to compose or answer an email for her clients because I have to watch out every words I send. So my couple of weeks with her was great. She was happy helping me out with everything and very very patient though I know she's just trying.

And the thing about me is that, I keep mistaking a lot!! I hate myself for that! I feel really stupid every time I make mistakes and it hurts me. Why? Because her instructions are very clear but then I can't give her the right thing she's asking me to do. And the other day, that pissed her off big time. She verbally punched me between the eyes. And I was so speechless. I really didn't know what to say because I know it was my fault.

And right now, I feel so down, stupid and helpless. I know God wants me to learn something and I understand that. My weaknesses are intolerable in the work place. I know I'm not perfect and I'm starting to accept all my weaknesses but I don't know.. as of this moment it feels like I just want the world to stop and runaway. God is telling me that it's not a good idea to escape to something that would make me grow and better. I know for a fact that I have to trust God but I can't just stand the heaviness I have in my chest at this very moment. I know this is just a challenge but I can't help but to feel ashamed because I know that I'm a real pain in my client's butt. I deserve to be fired of all the errors I've made. And if she will kick me out in the account that would be fine because I understand her. But I really love what I'm doing!!!! I want to stay in the account. I'm helping my self to improve and to be better and more importantly, not to make mistakes. I wish she would give me a second chance though I can feel the coldness between the two of us.

LORD! This is really hard!!! I am crying out to you!! And I know you're hearing me! Why am I so stupid? Well, you just said I'm not and I understand that I'll learn from this but how?? My brain is weak! I feel helpless! Other people look me up because of the way I think but in reality I know to myself that I'm stupid and dumb. I can't even master the grammar rules! And yes, my client is right I can speak and write English but I can't understand because if I do I won't make mistakes. I'm depressed and I know I have to put the burden and worries to you but I can't help but to think of it every second. But above all, I thank you Lord for giving me this moment. I know you will use my weaknesses. Your plans are good and I can't wait to see the outcome. If I have to feel the way Jesus felt when he was nailed on the cross, I'll accept it. BUT PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING AND DON'T TURN AWAY FROM ME. I love you Lord and thank you!

Chapter 14: When God Seems Distant

"The Lord has hidden himself from his people, but I trust him and place my hope in him."

Isaiah 8:17 (TEV)

God is real no matter what you feel.

Have you ever experienced the feeling when the closest people you have at the moment appears to be MIA (missing-in-action) in your life when you needed them the most? That feeling really sucks especially when you feel alone and no one understand you. That happened to me and a lot of people (I'm sure!) in a numerous time. That's why I ended up choosing God as my best friend because I know he's always there to listen and guide me unlike human beings.

But guess what??

This chapter taught me that God can be like us in circumstances like this. And the funny thing is that, I've gone to this one, too. Having a problem and hearing nothing from God? Do you know that it is God's intention to stay away from you? Okay, yea, he promised that He will never leave us but He never promised that we will feel his presence at all times!

Why is HE doing this to us?

Well the answer is just simple, he wants us to learn! He wants to feel the deepest level of worship from you. Like what I said from the previous chapters, God gets the deepest and sincerest kind of praise and prayer when we are in pain or suffering.

Now, imagine if God is always there to listen and respond to us, we'll probably think that it's okay to have sinned because God will always talk to me. It's okay to have nonsense conversation with God, at least I'm talking to him, better nonsense than never. It's okay to do stuff that will hurt us because God is always there to comfort us when we are in pain. See? We maybe saying lots of those when we needed him the most. The only way to show God how much we love him is through deep worships and prayers.

It is a test of faith. God is always around even if we are unaware of it, but he's testing us! Feelings and emotions never pleases him but the faith itself when life falls apart.

Now, what can we do when God is no where to be found?

*Tell God exactly how you feel.

Unload those emotions. God is the best listener in the world. He listens attentively even if he already knows what you have to say. You maybe look stupid unloading your emotions knowing the fact that you can't feel his presence but believe it or not, that makes God smile at you! Still trusting him despite the fact that he's hiding from you.

*Focus on who God is -- his unchanging nature.

Humans are capable of changing but not God. Now when you feel that God is million miles away from you, the best way to do is always remind yourself that he is around. That he loves you, that he cares for you and that he knows what you're going through. In my case, when I feel down and get no response from him, I always convince myself that he might be busy helping out other people suffering 100% worst than I have at the moment and from that, I feel better. :)

*Trust God to keep his promises.

Circumstances change human beings in a very lightning speed. Like some Christians can easily turn away from God when they can't feel his presence but NOT GOD! When he is not around but you continue to trust him, that way you're showing him how much you love and value him as your creator. Remember, you can't feel him at that moment because he is busy taking your maturity to a deeper level. So be thankful! :)

*Remember what God has done to you.

Above all the things he done for you, do you think it is right to convince yourself that he is not real simply because he didn't respond in one of the crest fallen circumstances of your life? Don't you think it's unfair for you to think that way? Okay, some of you may think he never has done anything for you. But knowing Jesus died for our sins just to live forever is a huge reason to thank Him. The God's son died for you! We owe him big time! That's why we deserve our praise until the last breathe of our lives.

Note to God:

Hello Lord! It's been awhile but I'm starting to think that these posts are not meant to post right after I read them 2 months ago. It refreshes my mind. And I'm thankful that in this way I keep writing something about you. My life keeps changing because of you. I know you can see the difference. And you're always near since the day I surrendered my life to you. So I'm so thankful for that but when that time comes, when you have to stay away, you still owe my praise and my love. I'll never stop talking to you even if I look crazy and stupid. That's how I trust you and even if it's really painful, I will never turn away from you. I love you! :)

Chapter 13: Worship That Pleases God

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

- Mark 12:30 (NIV)

God wants all of you.

Before I used to think that attending a service once in a week is enough to let God knows how faithful we truly are. And worst, I even thought that my spiritual growth doesn't need to be deepen or that I don't need to be part of the ministry. But I was totally wrong and I feel ashame of having that kind of mindset because God doesn't want a part of our lives. He wants the whole us it's because he is our creator.

Now, in this chapter, I've learned the kind of worships that pleases God.

*God is pleased when our worship is accurate.

This means that we should know our worship God based on scriptures not with our personal opinions. Who are we to reveal the real him without the help of the bible in the first place?

*God is pleased when our worship is authentic.

Heartless praise is an insult to God! We maybe dedicating an hour and half every service but standing, singing and sitting in the church inattentively hurts God big time! He knows what you are thinking and if you're just doing it just to please your family. Live his words into your heart and reflect.

The Bible says, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at heart."

We maybe all product of our society when it comes to looking at other people but not God. Maybe that's why we're human and he is God. Now, God gave us emotions so we could worship with deep feeling. He doesn't need showmanship but our real love. Remember, he knows when it is real or not.

The biggest distraction in worship is the daily circumstances that makes us think about it every second, our interests and what other will think about us. I know how it feels when you think of other people inside the church. Before I used to stand up and not singing songs or lifting my hand because I'm worried that I might know someone inside the church and will find me hypocrite. I also that I'm too cool to fully participate and my presence is enough to make God happy. Sounds cocky? I know. And I feel ashame because I didn't know this before.

We should set aside those distractions and keep focus every time we worship. Seeing and feeling God smile every time you worship him is the one of the best achievements you'll ever receive because you are not just pleasing other human beings like you, but it is God.

Note to God:

It's been awhile since the last time I updated this, Lord. I'm very sorry but I know you understand me. Actually, I know you are always beside me guiding me. And you know that my spirituality keeps getting deeper and deeper. You deserve my worship because you are God. Thank you for saving me. I love you Lord,

Chapter 12: Developing Your Friendship with God

"He offers his friendship to me godly."

Proverbs 3:32 (NLT)

"Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you."

James 4:8 (NLT)

You are as close to God as you choose to be.

To deepen our friendship with God, we need to be completely honest to him. God knows we are not perfect and he understands every circumstances that we humans are going through in our daily lives. We know our faults, weaknesses and feelings. Now what he wants to hear is your honest expressions of how your feelings and faults towards him. Hearing it from us, makes him smile because it symbolizes how much we trust him. We must obey him, too. Listen on he's telling us. He wants us to do the right thing despite of all the circumstances, pain and distractions. And lastly, we should desire to deepen his friendship with him more than anything else! Intimate friendship with him is a choice. We can be close to him as we choose to be. He will never reject us, unlike other people. He's always there to accept us. And that makes him the most amazing best friend you've ever have! :)

Note to God:

Being your best friend is awesome! You are attentively listening to me even if it's sometimes my stories doesn't make sense at all. But I love sharing it to you because I know, no matter what I say you always listen. When I'm in pain, you're always there to listen and make me feel okay. Your pain makes me keep closer to you. I can't imagine life without you. I love you. :)

Chapter 11: Becoming Best Friends with God

"Since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of his son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by his life."

Romans 5:10 (NLT)

God wants to be your best friend!

I love this chapter because God is already my best friend ever since I started praying to him. Almighty God yearns to be your friend, too! Well, before I thought I was the only one considering him as my best friend but I was wrong. Now best friends know each other. So it's unfair that it is only God who knows everything about us. As God's best friend, we ought to know every thing about him, too! He deeply desires that we know him intimately and with all our hearts.

It is our privilege to be God's best friend. Now, how on earth can we do it? And it's through constant conversation with him. Say everything to him! Don't be shy! Even if it's a complain about your appearance or circumstances, you give it to him. Best friends are true to each other and ready to punch you verbally between the eyes when needed. God wants to be part in every activity we do. And another is through continual meditation. Meditation is thinking about God's word over and over in our minds. And of course, we should share it to other people. God doesn't like to keep your friendship with him secret. He wants the whole world to know! :)

Note to God:

Hi best friend! You know you're my best friend ever since! Thanks for keeping me accompany every seconds of my life. You're always there for me. And I feel ashame every time I forget you. But you know, I always talk to you. And you're the only one who knows the real me and you accept me and that's the precious things I've ever received in my life. Having you as my best friend is awesome! I love you best friend! :)

Chapter 10: The Heart of Worship

"Give yourselves to God . . . Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes."

Romans 6:13 (TEV)

The heart of worship is surrender.

Nobody likes to surrender because the word is always used in a negative context. We are living in a competitive culture wherein we are taught not to give up or give in because it's a sign of weakness. Now, of course everyone wants to look and feel strong. So we hate it when we are giving up. But in a Christian context, surrendering to God is the highest form of worshiping him. Meaning when we surrender to him we are giving him full pleasure that not all people could able to give him. Surrendering is the heart of worship.

Now as discussed in this chapter, there are three barriers that block or total surrender to God and that is fear, pride and confusion. And I agree with that. It took me a long time to surrender myself to him and up until now I'm still uncertain if I'm fully surrendering myself to him because confusion and fear always gets in the way. But at least I'm in the process now regardless of the status of my spiritual growth. I do trust God but most of the time, I want to control my life. And I know I'm not the only people who feels this. But through this chapter, my eyes were opened that I don't have to always be "in charge" with my life. And trusting and loving God will bring me to an eternal realization that I am living for him and surrendering is not as bad as I imagined before.

Warning: When you decide to live a totally surrendered life, that decision will be tested. Sometimes it will mean doing inconvenient, unpopular, costly, or seemingly impossible tasks. It will often mean doing the opposite of what you feel like doing.

GOD, I AM PREPARED FOR THAT! :)

Note to God:

God, even if I'm not fully surrendered to you, I know you know that I'm giving my best shot to mature my spiritual growth. I love you and I trust you and I know most of time you are testing me. I love the way you test me because even if most of the time I fail, you always give another chance to prove that I'm really yours. I'm sorry for that but you are changing my character. And I love the way you're doing it. Please help me clear my minds from all the distractions and emotions. I love you so much!

Chapter 9: What Makes God Smile?

"May the Lord smile on you.."

Numbers 6:25 (NLI)

"Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live."

Psalm 119:135 (MSG)

The smile of God is the goal of your life.

They say, goal gives direction to one's life. Now, if you're asking about your goal you may be answering in the most self-centered answer and that is to reach your dream, to have this or that and to become like this or that. But we don't understand or some might not know yet, that our ultimate goal in our lives is to make God smile. Just like Noah who gave pleasure to God and made God smile, we can actually do it today.

How to make God smile?

God smiles when . . .

we love him supremely,

we trust him completely,

we obey him whole heartedly,

we praise and thank him continually and

we use our abilities.

I love God so much! Though sometimes cultural distractions and emotions are dominating the entire me but I always consult him in everything. I know he knows how much I think of him and even the times I don't. Of course, he knows it! He likes watching my life 24/7 and not just my life but also your life and all of us human beings. And by talking to him, sharing how my day was, my feelings and emotions, my complains to the world, to myself and even to him, I know he's listening. And by that, I'm worshiping him. I'm being true to him and that's the important thing. We are giving him enjoyment by being us! So let us make God smile, make it our goal! :)

Note to God:

You know that's already my goal. And I'm glad to see you smiling in simple ways of showing how much I thank and praise you for creating me and continually blessing me. I love you so much God! And I hope you'll smile more when I put you tattooed in my left hand to always remind me of my goal and that is to make you smile. Keep smiling God cos from there I feel relieve and awesome for having you! I love you! :)

Chapter 8: Planned for God's Pleasure

"You created everything and it's for your pleasure that they exist and were created."

Revelation 4:11 (NLT)

"The Lord takes pleasure in his people."

Psalm 149:4a (TEV)

You were planned for God's pleasure.

We are all created by God. Surprisingly, he does not need to create us though before I used to think that we are created to take care and enjoy his amazing creations. Again, he doesn't need to create us but he chose to create us for his enjoyment. We exist for his purpose and glory. We are here just for him!

Our first purpose in our lives is to bring enjoyment to God. Of all the things he created, we are the most special and blessed because we all have power to praise him and could bring enjoyment to him. We are enjoying the beauty of our nature and thank God for it, but nature could not bring God enjoyment. It is US who can bring glory and pleasure to God.

The Bible says, "Because of his love God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children -- this was his pleasure and purpose."

We are all made in God's image. God wants human to enjoy everything he created by giving us ability to enjoy pleasure. What are those? The five senses. It is not an accident that we all have those them, he wired us with those senses in order to appreciate his creations. We enjoy life because of the ability God has given to us! So like what I've said, we are all made in God's image so meaning if we have emotions, God has emotions, too. And humans often forget that or maybe some doesn't even know about it.

Now, how can we bring pleasure to God? It is through "WORSHIP". Everything we do to praise God is an act of worship. Again, everything! It's not just you're attending service every Saturday and Sunday. Everything we do for him even if we're just sharing thoughts about God or tweeting Bible verses, it's all an act of worship. Even if you're just telling him how your day was before your eyes officially shut at night, that is an act of worship.

So worship is a lifestyle! You cannot just say that in a certain service, you did the "Praise and Worship" part and from there you're worshiping God. That is wrong. Every part of a service is an act of worship. You cannot label that this part in only to worship God and other parts has its own labels.

Now, we people should understand that worship is not for our own benefit. We are not at the service to at least experience celestial feeling in an hour by singing Christian lyrics and listening to the Pastor's preaching. Well, I have to admit that I thought worship was all about ourselves. I thought worship was invented to let us feel fine and free from worries for a while. I thought it is for our own benefit, but I was totally wrong! It is for God! We are worshiping to give glory and pleasure to him and that is the primary motive of our existence!

God is worthy of our worship and praise! He deserves it more than anything else! Sure, we are not the only creation in this world. There's animal, nature, etc. But can animals go to church to worship him or read a word of God to other animals? See, we are the only creation that has ability to worship. He wired us the senses not just to enjoy his other creations but to give him pleasure.

Note to God:

Thank you so much for introducing me to my first purpose in life. You enlightened me to the true meaning of worship. I just went to the service earlier and was so excited to give pleasure to you. Unlike before, I used to go to the service to feel good. My mind has changed and that is because of you. Every time I do things, most of the time I always think of you. As much as possible I'm focusing my attention to you though there's a lot of distractions around me. Thank you so much Lord for choosing me as one of the children of God. I am proud of it! :)

Chapter 7 : The Reason for Everything

"Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory."

Romans 11 : 36 (LB)

It's all for him.

Without God's glory, there would be nothing.

So those are the first two sentences in this chapter, but before we make way of understanding the phrases let's try to discuss what glory means. I really don't know what that is until I read this chapter. Glory, as it explain in this chapter is who God is. It is the essence of this nature, weight of his importance, the radiance of his splendor the demonstration of his power, and the atmosphere of his presence. It is the expression of his goodness and all his other intrinsic, eternal qualities. Now you might be asking where the glory of God is. Is it inside the church or in heaven? The answer is, everything created by God reflects his glory is some way. As it says, creation reveals our Creator's glory.

The Bible says, "The heavens declare the glory of God".

Jesus Christ is the first instrument of God's glory. Without him, we are still in the dark of what God is really like. Jesus is the light of the world that illuminates God's nature. He came here on earth to fully understand the glory of God. Now, as human being created by God we are all commanded to recognize, honor, declare, praise and reflect his glory. God deserves it! We owe him every honor and recognition of all the glory. If we can praise other human beings with all their amazing things he made in this world, then why not do the same thing to God?

As it says in this chapter, living for God's glory is the greatest achievement we can accomplish with our lives. When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God.

Now, how can we do that?

First, we need to understand that through worshiping, we bring glory to God. That is our first responsibility to God. Worship is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes. When we use our lives for God's glory, everything we do can become an act of worship. Second, loving other believers bring glory to God. It is our responsibility to learn how to love as God does, because God is love, and it honors him. Third, we bring God glory by becoming like Christ. The more we develop Christ like character, the more we will bring glory to God. God wants to continue the process of changing our characters until our last breath of earth. Fourth, we bring God glory by serving others with our gifts. Remember, each of us was uniquely designed by God with talents, skills and abilities. We are all wired to be like this, it is not an accident or because of heredity. Now, God doesn't want us to use it in selfish purposes. They were given to benefit others, just as others were given abilities for your benefit. And lastly, we bring glory to God by telling other people about him. That's why don't laugh on people who share biblical passages or quotes about God because it's one way of giving glory to Him. And besides, God doesn't want his love and purposes kept a secret. Once we know the truth, he expects us to share it with others.

God will give us what we need if we will just make the choice to live for him. He wants us to fulfill the purposes he made for us and it is the only way to live. Everything else is just existing, all we need to do is receive and believe.

Note to God:

I want to follow all the steps to give you glory but honestly, I'm having a hard time doing it all at the same time. But don't worry because I am trying to do it all just to give glory to you. I hope you understand that changing once character is not as easy as some people think. I cannot change in a very lightning speed especially if my environment plays a huge noise in making it impossible. But I know you don't miss any detail of my life and you know exactly what I'm doing to continue the process of changing my character. I know you understand me, Lord. Thank you so much for being understanding. You deserve all the glory! I love you.

Chapter 6: Life is a Temporary Assignment

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away."

Psalm 39 ": 4 (NLT)

Life on earth is a temporary assignment.

The Bible says, "For we were born but yesterday our days on earth are as transient as a shadow."

In this chapter I've learned the two truths to remember as I continue the walk of light. First, compared with eternity, life is extremely brief. And second, earth is only a temporary residence. Yes, this chapter is reminding us not to get attached with all the things we enjoy here on earth because everything is temporary. We don't need to have it all because soon we will leave this world and live eternally with God. As it says in the chapter, as soon as we leave this world, somebody will take our places. It reminds us that we are just a foreigner or an alien in our own world. Most of us are indulging with the mainstream lifestyle and material possessions without realizing that we cannot bring it all in our next destination. We humans love flirting with all the temptations in this world, as it says in this chapter, God calls it SPIRITUAL ADULTERY.

The Bible is clear : "Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul."

In this chapter, God warns us not to get attached with all the things we have here on earth or around us because it is temporary. God is preparing us for something better. And these things around us would not last forever.

Now, what is God doing in order to keep us unattached with all the things around us?

Have you ever experienced of being discontented at all times? Like for example, you want this kind of thing and when you get it, you get bored with it and something new comes along and it turns out you want that new one. We people could not be contented of whatever we have because God planned to fix our level of satisfaction by allowing us to feel a significant amount of discontentment and dissatisfaction in life. It's one way of showing that the true happiness could not find in this temporary world we all live for but in eternity with God.

Imagine if all turns perfect like we can get whatever we want in this life, what's the point of moving to another when everything's here?

We maybe have tons of happy moments here on earth but nothing beats with what God has planned for all of us. Remember, our time here on earth isn't the end of our stories, it's actually the beginning. So never focus on temporary crowns.

Note to God:

Lord, why are you so amazing? I've known about the discontentment the moment I opened my eyes with intellectual stuff. I said, we people will never be contented, but before I thought that you made it that way so that people will push themselves to the limit. Imagine if we are all contented of what we have right now, how could we possibly learn new things and be strong? However, through this chapter, I've realized that there's more deep meaning than that. You are saving us from being attached with all the things around us by feeling discontented and dissatisfied at all times because our world is not really here. Our world is with you eternally. People strive for perfections and true happiness but we are failed to realize that true perfection in your eyes and your real heavenly world. Yes, Lord, life is just a temporary assignment. And thank you for giving us this temporary assignment though it's very difficult, I hope we could all pass your final tests. I love you so much Lord! Praise you Lord! :)

Chapter 5: Seeing Life from God's View

"What is your life?"

James 4: 14b (NIV)

The way you see your life shapes your life.

In this chapter, I've learned about the "life metaphor" or the view of life that consciously or unconsciously affects our way of life. It determines how we see things through our expectations, values, relationships, goals and priorities.

The Bible says," Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God."

My two friends were actually arguing about this stuff a couple of weeks back. I told them that a person could not easily change because of his environment and "Change yourself first" is just a myth. If a person truly wants not to be a product of his environment then he should at least let the people understand they need to change for better. And of course, my friends were opposing that idea. They said, if I really want to change, I should do it with myself and I don't need to mind other people. I have to admit that I lost that verbal sword fencing because they're and I'm only one. Or maybe they're right, I am a conformist. Haha!

Anyway, this chapter talks about how life works in the eyes of God. It says, "Life is a test, life is a trust, and life is a temporary assignment". I love that line. And I know from the start how important for us to understand the tests of life and God. We are always being tested in different situation. God is testing us for Him to see how we act in tough times especially when we can't feel His presence. That happens most of the time to people. And sometimes, we believe that God doesn't exist at all but we often miss the idea that God is just testing us. People should keep in mind that God's test makes reward in eternity.

Another things is that "Life on earth is a trust". This chapter reminds us that all the things that we have right now is God's gift to us. From our energy to intelligence to relationship to appearance and resources. So we should take good care of it. Now, if we exceed the limit of those gifts God have given, we should not boast about it because it is not really ours. They just lend it for us in a while and soon other people would make use of it. Especially when it comes to finances, God test us in that area in most times. The moment we become responsible in His given resources, He will trust us to the riches of heaven.

Note to God:

Thank you so much for reminding me that all I have is actually all yours. I know I'm gifted in some areas and sometimes I can't help but to boast about it. Thanks to this chapter for reminding me that this is not really mine and it's yours. Now I have to be extra careful in using it, as much as possible I should use it in a good way. And another, Lord, I pray that you should help me deal with finances because I know you know I'm not good at that. I love you so much! :)